


Wish you were here!

by Cellis



Series: Wish you were here! [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Canon Divergence - Post-Thor (2011), Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Steve, Implied Mpreg, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Protective Steve, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve is trying to do the best he can, Waiting For Update, anxious loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-07 19:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14678103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cellis/pseuds/Cellis
Summary: Almost two hours ago every News channel on the Eastern seaboard had reported on the aerial fight above the Potomac River and shown footage live and then recorded of the Hellicarriers exploding and plummeting into the Potomac River. Loki knew for certain, without having to be told, that Steve, his lover, was in the middle of that fight.Loki wondered, if he had inadvertently witnessed the death of the man he loved?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one off which I hope you will enjoy. I wanted to mark the fact that there are now over 1000 Steve/Loki stories posted which I think is amazing. Here's to the next 1000. 
> 
> As always I have borrowed the characters from Marvel. All comments and Kudos are welcome and please excuse any wrong spellings or bad grammar.
> 
> This is set in the immediate aftermath of Captain America, The Winter Soldier and casts a light on what it may have been like for Loki waiting for Steve to return.

Almost two hours ago every News channel on the Eastern seaboard had reported on the aerial fight above the Potomac River and shown footage live and then recorded of the Hellicarriers exploding and plummeting into the Potomac River. Loki knew for certain, without having to be told, that Steve was in the middle of that fight. 

 

He wondered, if he had inadvertently witnessed the death of the man he loved? Would anyone come to Loki to tell him if Steve had died? Did anyone care enough to tell Steve’s partner of almost three years? Was there anyone still alive who knew about Steve and Loki? He wanted to go to the last place he knew his lover was but he also knew that he would not get close enough to learn anything.

 

So Loki was in the apartment that he and Steve had shared for almost two years now. He was pacing up and down the short hallway which led from their front door to their living area. The apartment was not big, one bedroom, a little office, a bathroom, small kitchen and living area. The furnishings were tasteful in a sedate manner. It was home, nothing like the Royal Palace he had called his home for over a millennium, but Loki was content, even happy, for the first time in many centuries. 

 

Steve had been due back from his mission over an hour ago and Loki still hadn’t heard any word. This was not like Steve who knew that Loki worried until he was home safe in their little apartment, where they could close the world outside, if only for a short time. The waiting was starting to get to Loki. How much longer could he hold out before his patience ran out? 

 

There were few that Loki could turn to at a time like this. It wasn’t like the Avengers had taken to his relationship with Steve very well. Despite the fact the Loki had been back on Midgard…. Earth (he’d been trying so hard to call it that for Steve’s sake) for almost four years now without one single incident or moment of destruction or violence he was still hated by the others. They only tolerated Steve’s relationship with him because Loki stayed away from them. They had insisted that Steve not bring Loki into their company after the first time, and that had not gone well. If Loki’s reflexes were slower he would have had an arrow through his eye or felt the full force of Stark’s Repulsor beams in his chest. As it was the damage his protective shield had caused by deflecting the blast almost took out a wall. 

“I don’t care what you have to say Cap. That creature is not welcome in my home or anywhere within my immediate vicinity!” Stark had bellowed at the top of his voice. "If it comes anywhere near me again I will kill it". Loki doubted Stark would have had the nerve to call him a creature or `it` had Thor been present. It had taken all of Steve's strength and self-control not to lash out at Stark.

“I think it best that you both leave, Steve!” Bruce had said quite calmly but Loki had seen the beast lurking just below the surface.

“We can’t tell you who to love, Steve but this is a mistake” the spy had offered as if she knew anything about love.

“Cap, this is so f**ked up I can’t even start to imagine what he has done to you to make you believe you love him or that he is capable of loving anything but himself” the archer had added not even trying to keep the venom and hatred out of his voice.

No! That had not turned out as either Steve or Loki had hoped!

 

When the reporters had first released the story that Steve was wanted for questioning in connection with Fury’s death Loki had reached out to Tony Stark but Stark had refused to take his calls. Eventually Jarvis gave Loki a message that Mr. Stark would obtain a court injunction retraining Loki from contacting him again if he called one more time. Thor was not on earth and he didn’t know how to contact Romanov except through Shield. Loki knew no one at Shield would take his call except Fury and he was now dead. Without any doubt Barton would react to Loki as Stark had done, maybe even worse. Loki wished he could ask Heimdall but that was not an option either.

 

Rubbing the centre of his left palm with the fingers of his right hand, as he was of the habit to do when nervous or worried (something he had done since childhood), he figured, for not the first time, that maybe he would never be accepted by the Avengers or anyone else on Earth other than Steve. Steve, who had become the most important person in the nine realms to Loki, Steve who had stood up for Loki, defended him, not for what he had done during the battle of New York but, for the fact that he had done nothing else to hurt anyone since his return. Steve, who had risked losing the few friends he had made since wakening from the ice, who risked losing everything he had gained so that he could be with Loki. Steve who insisted, time and time again that it was worth all the hurt and suspicion and looks of betrayal to be with Loki, that Loki made him complete, made him feel whole again.

 

Everyday Loki was grateful for the size of that man’s heart, for his apparent never ending capacity to see beyond what others see, the capacity and willingness to forgive, to give someone a second chance, even someone like him!! 

 

But where was he now? Why had Steve not checked in after his mission? Had he not found a moment of privacy to send his usual “Job done, be home soon. Love you loads. xxx S” text. He had sent that text so many times over the past… Was it really almost 3 years since he had first received a text like that? Had they really been together that long?

 

****************

Loki thought back to that first time they had a drink together. It had been a meeting by chance. Loki had been sitting in the bar of a hotel in Queens. He was alone and simply people watching when a figure caught his eye. There was no mistaking the form of Captain America, as he walked into the bar and seemed to be looking for someone. But that was just it, it wasn’t Captain America it was Steve Rogers, wearing a blue dress shirt and dark jeans, who had come to meet someone in that very bar. Taking a seat at the end of the bar Steve ordered a cold beer. Rather than looking around the bar again he used the mirrors behind the bar to scan for whomever he was supposed to be meeting. 

 

Loki could see the Captain from his vantage point. In fact he could see almost all the bar and the people coming and going. The only area he could not see was the small section near the other end of the bar where staff came and went into the back area. Loki liked this bar. He had become something of a regular here. He could come here, order his drink and sit and watch others without hassle listening to the pleasant back ground music. The bartender, he had come to know as Ray, always welcomed Loki with a smile. Whether Loki was in the mood for a tea, a coffee or their strongest alcohol, Ray served it with a kind word. He didn’t ask too many questions or make idle chit-chat if Loki wasn’t in the mood. Sometimes he would hand Loki the daily paper, sometimes discuss sport or the latest best sellers. Other days he simply nodded. 

 

Being careful not to stare Loki adopted Steve’s trick of using the mirrors to keep an eye on the Captain. Every few minutes Steve would check his watch and glance at his phone. Whoever he was meeting was obviously late and he was getting impatient. After 45 minutes it looked like the Captain was going to call it a day. Whoever was due to arrive clearly was not coming. Steve’s phone beeped and he half frowned at the message before relief flooded his features and his brow relaxed. That was when Loki’s eyes met Steve’s in the mirror. 

 

Steve turned on his seat and faced Loki across the bar. There was no hatred in his eyes, no obvious desire to see Loki dead. The look was one of surprise or intrigue, with a little weariness, at seeing Loki sitting there with a coffee in front of him. Steve had risen from his seat and was now standing in front of Loki’s table. When Loki met his eyes again he could see the intelligence behind those blue eyes. Asking if he could join Loki, but not waiting for the answer, Steve had sat down opposite Loki. Despite the frosty start they had ended up staying there talking over a few beers, or cognac in Loki’s case, until Ray had come over and advised them that the bar was closing. While Ray knew Loki was not a resident of the hotel he told him he could tell Jimmy that Ray had sent them in there if they wished to prolong their evening. Both were surprised that time had gotten away from them.

 

Steve had looked somewhat bashful when he checked the time on his watch. It was now past midnight and he had come into the bar just before 8 pm. When had Loki last spent such a length of time in such pleasant company in a social setting? Loki had thanked Ray for his kindness but said they would not need the Resident’s bar that night, maybe some other time. Stepping outside, a cold easterly breeze caught Loki’s hair and whipped it into his face. Reaching up, as if to catch those stray strands of hair, Steve suddenly stopped his action; withdrawing his hand and looked away.

 

Loki was about to take his leave and had hailed a cab when Steve reached out and caught his forearm in a strong grip but not one that Loki couldn’t shake off if he wished. He asked if they could maybe meet for coffee sometime and that had been the beginning of what turned out to be a relationship lasting almost three years thus far. Three years in which Loki had felt more love than he had in a long time, more wanted, more secure and happier than in centuries. 

 

*****************

Loki had moved from New York to Washington to be with Steve as he continued to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. He had gotten a job in a second hand book store which was then taken over by a conglomerate. The owner had retired but Loki’s love of books and his extensive knowledge had gained Loki the position of Manager in their new flagship store opened on the site of the old bookstore. Loki loved his job, loved the new life he was making with Steve. 

 

He still used his magic to assist Steve whenever he could but that had to be done discretely and without the knowledge of the Avengers or Shield. When Loki had worked in the old bookstore he could take time off and assist Steve on some of his one man missions but with the new job that was not so easy. 

 

He hadn’t been with Steve on this last mission nor had he any communication from Steve in over two days. He had seen all the news reports saying Steve was a traitor and a wanted man, that he was somehow part of the attack on Nicholas Fury, the now former and deceased, Director of Shield. He wished he’d been home when Fury had called, maybe he could have helped. He looked at his phone and read the message he had received that night. “Have to lie low for a while. Should be home soon, I promise! Be careful. Love you loads. xxx S”.

 

How he had longed to reach out and touch his love, protect him any way he could? The last message he had received was now over two days old and in it Steve had promised that he’d be home over an hour ago. The words seemed to mock Loki now; “48 hours! Love you loads xxx S”.

 

Was he silly to be so worried? Was this an over-reaction? Maybe it was but he had good reason to over react. Loki had watched alone in silence as he saw news footage of Steve fighting for his life under a highway overpass, against a stranger in a dark face mask and what looked like a metal arm, had seen Steve being taken into custody by Shield operatives. They were supposed to be on the same side!! Loki had screamed in frustration. Screamed at his inability to go to the man he loved and to protect him. Why had he agreed to stay in the background and help Steve from the shadows? He knew exactly why! The man he loved had asked him to and he had been happy to do so for almost three years because Steve had risked everything to be with Loki.


	2. Chapter 2

He wasn’t family in the sense that the American people and the authorities recognised. Steve and Loki had gone through a commitment ceremony and had committed their lives to each other but no one other than the officiant knew about that. The magical bands which intricately surrounded both their wrists marking that commitment were invisible to all but themselves. 

 

For the first time in three years Loki felt alone again, cast out upon a stormy sea with no land in sight. His tether to this world unseen in the swirls of emotion and turmoil and his secure anchor feeling lost. He would somehow have to find a way to keep going if Steve was really gone. There was no other choice. Loki felt weak at the knees at that thought. He used the back of their sofa to steady himself. Time was ticking slowly by, each minute casting another dagger into Loki’s heart. 

 

Loki tried to grab onto whatever hope he could find. Surely someone would have announced it to the media by now if Steve was dead, if Captain America had met his demise. He would cling onto that premise for as long as he could.

 

It was now two hours since Loki had expected Steve to come home. He had started phoning the hospitals asking if they had a patient named Steven Grant Rogers but the hospitals would not give out any information when he said he wasn’t exactly family. They never waited long enough to let him explain that he was looking for his best friend! He would never identify himself as Steve’s partner; that was something for Steve to do not Loki.

 

Three hours past the time and Loki had become very desperate. A knock came to the door and he rushed to it before remembering that Steve had told him to be careful. Carefully looking through the spyhole Loki tried to control his breathing. He saw a young man with dark skin and gentle eyes looking directly at him. The stranger knocked again but this time added “Lo, Steve is in hospital and asked me to call around. He’s going to be fine. He said to tell you he should have been home three hours ago and he’s sorry he’s late. Also that being stood up in Queens was one of the best nights of his life”.

 

Loki leaned against the wall, listening carefully to the little hints hidden in the wording of the message that told Loki the message had in fact come from Steve. He slowly opened the door and was greeted with a warm smile. “Loki, I’m pleased to meet you. I’m Sam Wilson and I’m a friend of Steve’s”. The young man held out his hand to Loki. Taking it cautiously, Loki gave him a small smile. “Please won’t you come in? Welcome to our home”. 

 

Sam stepped inside and showed no sign of fear or concern for being alone in Loki’s presence. As soon as Loki closed the door Sam turned. Loki was wearing what looked like one of Steve’s shirts if the size was anything to go by. Sam thought he recognised it as one of Steve’s favourites. “You might want to grab your coat and a scarf as it’s chilly out there.”

Seeing the confused look on Loki’s face he added “I guess you want to go see him straight away”.

Loki was so relieved to hear Steve was alive that it hadn’t occurred to him that he would be allowed access to the hospital to see Steve. “Please forgive my rudeness. Take a seat while I grab them,” he stuttered. 

“No rush, he ain’t going anywhere.” Sam tried to joke. He could see how anxious Loki was, a certain nervousness, as if he never expected to be told where Steve was. Sam wondered why Steve’s partner would think that but maybe he was reading the guy wrong? 

Loki hurried into his and Steve’s room to retrieve his long black winter coat and his green and gold scarf. Wrapping the scarf around his neck before he pulled on the coat, Loki paused. 

Seeing some cuts and bruises on Sam he ventured a guess. “You were with Steve during the incident, were you not?”

“I was.”

“And how do you fare? Have you received medical attention? I know a little about healing and if I may assist you I would be happy to do so!” Loki knew he was beginning to babble and wondered what Sam must think of him. “Sorry, you may be anxious to be on your way? If you but tell me where I might find Steve I can make my way there!”

 

For some reason Sam expected Loki to be more aloof, cold even, but this guy before him was showing all the traits of someone who had spent hours genuinely worried about the person they loved who was missing, presumed dead even. “No worries man. I am taking you directly to Steve. You may not get as far as him otherwise. And I am not having Captain America chew my ass off because I failed to bring his beloved to his side”.

Loki was taken aback to realise that Sam knew exactly who he was to Steve. “You know?”

“Oh yeah I know! Hard not to notice the way his face lights up when he speaks of you even if not by name. It’s clear how much you mean to him and how happy you make him”.

“Not many react as you have”.

“Well if Steve trusts you, and he obviously does, I do what he does only slower”. 

 

Sam takes Loki directly to Steve’s bedside. When Loki saw how beat up Steve looked, the cuts, the black and purple bruises on his face, his swollen eye, the wrapped ribs and the monitoring machine he inhaled sharply. To Loki it looked like Steve had been dragged backways through a thorny hedge by a Bilgesnipe. 

 

Steve was sleeping as they entered but as soon as Loki leans in close he opens his eyes and reaches up to first stroke Loki’s face and then pull him into a deep kiss. He doesn’t seem to notice Sam standing at the bottom of the bed. Loki is surprised at Steve’s kiss. He knows his love is not a fan of public displays of affection and had been willing to simply touch his hand for a few seconds, perhaps hold his hand or caress his face if others were not around.

 

Sam cleared his throat and, when Steve looks at him, Steve is smiling. “Now there is that smile only this guy brings to your face” Sam announces. Steve blushes but nods and smiles even wider at the sight of Loki in his shirt. He suspected Loki wore his tops and shirts when he was away and now he has proof.

“Thank you Sam for everything.”

“No problem man. Anything else I can do for you! You know I’m gonna be around here until you are released.”

Loki thinks it strange that Sam would want to still hang around but he doesn’t know about Hydra yet. 

 

Loki looks at Sam and asks quietly “If I may be so bold as to ask if you could get me a cup of tea I would be most grateful. I have been unable to eat much for a number of days”. Realising they might also want some privacy Sam nods. “One tea, one coffee and one bottle of water for the patient coming right up”. With that he leaves.

 

Steve is looking at Loki with concern. “Loki, you know you have to eat.” 

“I didn’t say I hadn’t eaten I said I haven’t been able to eat much”.

Steve moves over in the bed and gestures for Loki to lie alongside him. “I think it’s time we made our union official, in the eyes of the law, I mean”, he says once Loki is lying down, pressed against his side and using Steve’s chest as a pillow. Steve holds him tight.

Looking up at Steve’s face Loki teases. “Steven Grant Rogers, is that your idea of a proposal?” Loki relishing the strong sound coming from Steve’s beating heart under his ear.

Blushing slightly Steve brings Loki’s face up towards his own and kisses Loki again. “No my proposal, as well you know, was when I took you to the top of the Empire State building and got down on one knee at midnight as the moon shone down on us and asked you to be with me for the rest of my life”. 

“Oh, was that what that was? I understood that proposals generally came with a ring!” Loki held up his left hand and wiggled the fingers as if to show there was no ring there.

 

Steve laughed. It felt good to laugh. Steve held up his left arm and brought his left wrist alongside Loki’s. Their magical bands appeared to sparkle as they drew close together. 

Running his left hand down Loki’s back and side as he tucked Loki closer into his side in the bed Steve moved his right hand over to Loki’s abdomen and placed it over their unborn child. “I want you to become my lawful husband before our little one arrives and I want everyone to know we are together and are committed to each other. In the future I don’t want there ever to be anyone standing in your way of getting to my side or me to yours.” 

Loki could feel the tears slip down his cheeks. “I was so worried you may never get to see or hold your child.”

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t let you know sooner that I was safe. I needed a little while to recover, before I woke up here, and when I did I sent Sam to get you as soon as I could”.

“You are safe now and we are all together. What has happened over the past few days can wait for another time. I love you Steven Grant Rogers and I would be honoured to become your lawful husband.” 

Moving his left hand to join Steve’s right one he adds, “We love you loads, Steve.”

Looking into Loki’s eyes Steve replied “We love you loads too, Lo”. 

 

Sam had been about to announce his presence when he heard the declarations of love and on noticing where their hands were as they spoke and how they were both caressing and cradling that area he exclaimed “Damn Man, that is too sweet!”


End file.
